Now I know how Britney and the rest of them feel. Sigh.

OK, so before I left the UK, I was interviewed by the Nursing Standard magazine as part of a drive to raise awareness of VSO, as there are not enough nurses applying for posts with VSO.

I was so excited to be featured in the article, and spent a lot of time emailing and talking to both the VSO communications officer, and the nurse correspondent for the magazine.  I felt I made a good impression of how I had been feeling the need for a new challenge, and had done my Philosophy Degree to try and move into medical ethics, but that the recession had made it difficult to get a job, so I realised that now would be a perfect time to undertake a placement working in development.

SO, imagine my humiliaton and disappointment when I eventually was emailed a copy of the article.

62 may 12 :: vol 24 no 36 :: 2010 NURSING STANDARD
The charity VSO is looking for nurse volunteers to undertake a Skills for working in development (SKWID) course that has been accredited by the RCN.  Nurses who volunteer with VSO – which strives to fight poverty in developing countries – can count the course towards their post-registration education and practice requirements, and clock up 24 hours of accredited learning activity.

Among those who have taken the course is nurse Catherine Dupre, who is training hospital nurses in Ulaanbaatar, the capital of Mongolia. Half of the country’s three million population live in the capital, and about 30 per cent is nomadic, although that is changing.  Mongolia’s 8,000 nurses are registered, but training is not standardised. Nurses tend to suffer from a lack of public and professional respect.
Ms Dupre’s background is in trauma, public health and community nursing. She has been qualified for five years but remains on pay band 5. After several failed job searches, she decided VSO was an attractive option ‘because it gets things organised’.

She attended SKWID in January. She says: ‘The course was intensive, but there was asupportive and co-operative group dynamic that made it enjoyable.

‘In one activity, we were volunteers coming to build a bridge for a village. We had ten minutes to plan the bridge and another ten minutes to build a scale model using a children’s construction kit.  ‘The construction was fine, but when we asked a “villager” what was needed from the bridge, she was more interested in our families and personal lives. In different cultures, being task-orientated is not always appropriate.  ‘I now have a stronger awareness of the different priorities of people from other cultures, of negotiation techniques and how they can be applied effectively.’

It is the bit in purple that I object to so strongly, first of all, it is completely unecessary to say I have "been qualified 5 years but remains on pay band 5" like I am incapable of progressing past this, why not just say, Ms Dupre is a Band 5 with some years experience. 

Also, saying I thought VSO was an attractive option after several failed job searches, is untrue, unkind, and makes VSO look like a cop out.  I did NOT have several failed job searches, what is a "failed job search" anyway?  I had two interviews and though I was not successful in either, I was told I was the 2nd choice for one of them, and that the panel was split in the other.  There were quite simply, NO jobs going in the NHS because it is such a stupid mess at the moment.

Also, I actually did have a job aswell, as a H1N1 public health nurse before I went away. So there Nursig Standard.

I am so upset, as I was so excited and chuffed that I was to be featured in the magazine, and now I just feel humiliated and frustrated that I am misrepresented in a magazine.  I feel like Lyndsay Lohan.

ANYWAY - who cares, I am a million miles away, and I sent an upset email to the magazine, in which I said pretty much exactly what I have said here.  So, we will see what comes of that. Perhaps they will do a four page spread, exonerating me........ha ha.  Maybe I feel worse because my working life has been - er - akin to a patchwork quilt, but I didnt want my failure to get to band 6 to be portrayed as something negative, I would run away from a 6 faster than a speeding bullet.

I am at work, psyching myself up for my lecture, I'm determined there will be no more 'miss nice girl', I am going to have to be firm and forthright with my new class.  Dont answer your mobile in my lesson!  If you want to go to sleep, go home! If I ask a question of you, I expect an answer!

I feel so tired today though, despite an early night, I slept so deeply and couldnt wake up this morning. I even dreamed that I was sleeping, and that a camel came and nuzzled its head into me, very sweetly, so I was cuddled up to the camels soft furry face, and having a lovely sleep within a sleep, when my alarm went off.  Rats.

I have re-arranged my squat, I mean, flat.  I am a lot happier with it now I have made the decision to ignore one whole room.  Coping strategies, innit.

Someone send me some golden virginia tobacco and some more coffee.  For the love of all thats good, I need COFFEEEEEEEEEE aaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Final word, my surname is not Dupre, it has an accent on the e, which is not hard to do. OK so I cant work out how to do it on this blog (RACISTS!) but the magazine could have done it. grumblegrumble.